First dates are supposed to be a little magical. Nerves, butterflies, the “will we click?” energy. At a minimum, you should leave knowing he tried. You want to wonder if this could be your last first date. Ever. But somehow, men continue to suggest places that scream: “I put zero thought into this and you’re basically interchangeable with my Postmates order.” And they wonder why they can’t get second and third dates.
Here’s the official list of first-date spots that should be banned forever — backed by actual horror stories. I did some research online to find a few anecdotes to back up my claims!
1. Coffee Shops
Sounds cute until you realize you’re two strangers sipping lattes under fluorescent lights while college kids study next to you. One girl on Reddit said her date talked for two hours about himself without once asking if she wanted a drink. Coffee shops aren’t dates; they’re job interviews with bad foam art.
2. Movie Theaters
Two hours of silence next to someone you don’t know? Horrific. As one woman put it: “I didn’t even learn his last name until after the credits.” If he suggests a movie, what he’s really saying is: “I can’t hold a conversation, but here’s $14 popcorn.”
3. Chain Restaurants (Applebee’s, Chili’s, Olive Garden)
Yes, they’re fine for happy hour mozzarella sticks. No, they’re not fine for a first impression. A girl on TikTok said her date took her to Olive Garden, ordered for both of them, and called it “romantic.” Nothing says timeless love like unlimited breadsticks and neon lighting.
4. His Apartment
Oh, the classic “just come over and hang.” Translation: I don’t want to plan, spend money, or make effort. If the first date involves a couch and Netflix, it’s not a date — it’s a setup for disappointment.
5. Sporting Events
Sports are fun — once you already like him. But on date one? You’re babysitting while he yells at referees. One girl said her Hinge date brought her to a college football game, screamed himself hoarse, and ignored her the entire time. She left with nacho cheese on her sleeve and no second date.
6. IKEA / Errands
Yes, this has happened. A Redditor shared: “He took me to IKEA for lunch, ate both hot dogs, then brought me to his parents’ house.” Imagine thinking “build-your-own furniture” is foreplay.
7. Group Hangouts
Nothing like showing up for a first date and realizing it’s also a double date with his five friends. A woman said her date pulled this move — one guy wore a “Black Rifles Matter” shirt, another girl wore “March for Our Lives.” It was a political cage match. She left in 20 minutes.
8. Grocery Store Runs
This one lives in the you can’t make this up category. More than one woman has reported men turning “let’s grab coffee” into “I just need to pick up a few things.” Sir, I didn’t do my hair to watch you buy frozen peas.
9. Bars He “Basically Lives At”
Drinks are fine, but not if it’s his dingy neighborhood dive with sticky bar stools and a bartender who already knows his order. That’s not intimacy. That’s convenience.
10. Anywhere with His Mom
Yes, this happens. A woman told People her date’s mom showed up and joined them. She left after 20 minutes. First dates are nerve-wracking enough without surprise auditions for future daughter-in-law.
11. The Gym
There is no version of “let’s lift together” that’s romantic on a first date. One girl said a guy made her spot him on the bench press as their opener. That’s not a date. That’s free labor.
12. His Fantasy Football Draft
A Reddit user said her date brought her to his friend’s house to “hang out.” She arrived to 10 guys yelling over fantasy picks. He said she should “just chill on the couch.” Reader: she did not.
Closing Thought
First dates don’t need to be expensive or Instagram-worthy. They just need to feel intentional. Coffee can become dinner. A dive can become a rooftop. It’s the effort that matters. And if he can’t be bothered to pick a spot that makes you feel seen? I understand that some women may like these for dates, but I am so sorry they do not work. He’s not a 10. He’s a “maybe we should’ve just stayed on the app.”
— NotYourEx